How To Build Healthy Habits That Last

We’ve all done it. We’ve all picked a date in the diary, be it the first of Jan, the first of a month, or a Monday, as the day we will begin a new thing. Maybe you’re pledging to start a new exercise routine or stop an old habit that has been holding you back somehow. But how come so many of our good intentions fall by the wayside despite our best efforts? 

Well, let me explain…

Over my last 8 years of coaching I have been supporting my clients in forming good, and realistic routines and habits in their lives. I’m going to tell you how to create habits that actually last, but first, have a think about whether you’ve fallen into any of these five habit traps:

1.     The goals we set are often big and unsustainable.

2.     We adopt an ‘all or nothing’ mentality, with little to no contingency for error.

3.     Something is stopping us approaching the change wholeheartedly.

4.     We lack support and accountability.

5.     We aren’t implementing the new habit in a way that fits best for us.

Hold in mind one new habit you’d benefit from, and work through these five steps. Many years ago, I recognised that my inability to settle into sleep at night was down to drinking caffeine too late in the day. So, I pledged to only drink 1–2 cups of coffee per day and never after midday. I am going to use this as an example to show you how these 5 steps work.

1. Create a realistic goal

It can be tempting to go-big when instilling a new habit, yet the most sustainable way to change or start a habit, is to do the exact opposite. Start small. Break your goal down into small steps and take the first. Once this little step has become a part of your routine, then build upon it.

I love the phrase ‘hydrate before you caffeinate’, and it spurred me to start by drinking a big glass of water or herbal tea in the morning before heading to the coffee machine. I’d build up from there in time.

2. Expect change to be a bumpy ride

When we expect ourselves to get it right 100% of the time, we are likely to experience feelings of failure when things go awry. Adopt a ‘more of the time, not all of the time’ mentality. Look back over a week and feel encouraged that your new habit is happening more often than when you started.

It was a busy day at work and I had had a bad night’s sleep the night before. I was tempted to drink coffee in the afternoon to keep me going, but instead opted for a green tea (lower caffeine content), as well as made sure I went to bed early that night. I was therefore back on track.

3. Be wholehearted

Write down the reasons you want to change the habit. Truly get your teeth into your ‘why’. Then write down the costs of not making this change. Where will you be in a month or a year if you do or don’t implement this habit? Do you believe that you deserve the good things that will come with this shift?

As much as 1–2 cups of coffee a day won’t hurt, I know how they negatively affect my sleep in the long-term if I drink them too late in the day. And if I drink them too late in the day, it’s a reminder to my brain and my body that I am suffering with sleep debt. If I don’t commit to this new healthy habit, I am not giving my body the necessary time to recover, which is what a consistent and quality sleep routine will provide.

4. Seek an accountability buddy

We are far more likely to stick to a habit if we verbalise our goal and accept support along the way. Whether you speak to a friend, family member or relevant professional, having someone to check in on how you’re doing can be incredibly helpful. You may even find someone who shares your goal.

I asked my husband (a fellow coffee-lover) if we could both keep each other accountable to only drink coffee before midday, as well as head to bed before 10pm each night.

5. Slot it into routine

Us humans are creatures of routine and habit. The predictability of routine makes us feel safe. Think about how you might ‘stack’ your new habit alongside something you already do, that can act as a reminder, and in time, you’ll be doing it without having to be quite as intentional as you are now.

I always make a herbal tea after dinner to wind down my evening. I should use that as a reminder to get ready for bed immediately after, so that I don’t procrastinate on my laptop and delay an early bedtime.

As you seek better habits, don’t forget, it’s normal to revert to your…normal! Therefore of course it takes time for a fresh, new habit to become your new normal. Aim for progress, rather than perfection. You are the sum of what you do consistently, so these seemingly small habit changes could have a huge impact in time. Keep going!